So your boyfriend allows you to travel solo?

What does your boyfriend say about you traveling solo? 

Does he give you permission to travel like this, by yourself?

But why do you travel solo if you have a boyfriend?

And you left him at home like this? And he’s waiting for you? Wow, that’s very strange. 

Why didn’t you just wait until he can travel with you?

Look, it’s time you look around and you see all the great powerful women around you. Take a good look and stop judging them through their relationship status. Done, article over.

Just kidding, let’s dive into this and see what’s the main challenge for the people I’m meeting every day. I’ve had the your-boyfriend-gave-you-permission-to-travel chat countless times so far and I’m running out of patience. It seems that it’s unusual to be traveling while having a partner. Fine, I can understand that, it’s not easy to be away from your loved one for months at a time. Of course it’s not easy. Everybody would be doing it otherwise. But permission? Look deep inside yourselves and ask yourselves if you’d like to ask for permission to do stuff. To study, to move abroad, to travel, to change jobs – would you consider you need permission to do things that make you happy?

Partners have conversations about life changes, they don’t ask for permission, they ask for opinions.

I believe your loved one is the one that makes you become a better human being, somebody who’ll lift you and let you be your best self while supporting you in your choices. Now, if I would have to ask for permission for doing stuff, how is that support? How am I becoming a better self if I put myself down to please another?

So, here it is. You don’t need permission. You just want to do your thing and communicate that openly to your better half. That’s the part where you’ll talk about it and understand what it means for the other. You’ll talk about doubts, downsides, upsides, priorities, love, support and time. And maybe sometimes sacrifices. And you’ll put it all in balance and decide. For yourself first and in the longer time for your relationship – you’ll decide and do it. And I can vouch for the feeling of awesomeness when you can do you without any doubt, without feeling bad or feeling selfish, without thinking you’re doing something bad or wrong. You’re doing something important for yourself, something that will teach you more, open your eyes wider, push out of whatever comfort zone you’re in.

Traveling and your relationship can both be your priorities

I know travel is still a luxury for millions of people. Of course it is, let’s not fall in the trap of “everybody can travel” trend. For the lucky ones who have the passports to go places and the right mindset to save their money for seeing bits and pieces of the world, good for you. Keep on at it, you’re doing just fine.

And for my fellow soul travelers who travel because they’re restless and curious, who are craving to understand more and have found that travel feeds that craving, don’t ask for permission. You’ve made traveling your priority and your partner will love you more for this passion. You go places and meet people, take your awesome photos, meet the locals, try the food, do your daily love videos, you do you and build yourself up more. So when you do come back, you can put all that love, that curiosity, that thirst for the world, you can put right back where it never really left to begin with. In your partner and your relationship.

Don’t feel guilty for leaving, feel happy you can go. And if they don’t support this passion? Well, that’s some soul searching to be done right there.

Timing can never be right

The beauty of us all being different human beings also means we’re going through different phases in our lives. If one of the two isn’t really into traveling or is focusing on their career, waiting around can really damage things in the long run. Especially if there’s an age difference or simply a focus difference, I’ve seen couples grow apart because they wouldn’t pursue their passions separately. And what I think is the biggest risk is growing to despise the other for the things you never did.

You are not selfish for traveling solo while being in a relationship

Look, you are worthy of your time and efforts. Why feel selfish for investing in yourself? You are not leaving your partner behind, you are going out in the world. It’s trust and respect and love that keep you together, not only the physical proximity. If your partner can’t or won’t join you, take it as it is and go. I promise, the world is worth discovering. And honestly, you’re a functioning adult, you don’t need anybody’s permission to any anything. If you choose to stay or choose to go, own it and live it, babe.

Oh, and my sarcastic reaction to all these chats carried on in broken Spanish?

Yes, I have a letter of approval with his signature, do you want to see it?

What do you think about solo traveling while in a relationship? Would love to hear more!

4 Comments

  1. Catalina

    May 24, 2017 at 4:37 pm

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship with Marius for years, before we actually moved in, it was always horrible to leave, but amazing when we met, so that’s the hard part I guess, the one people don’t understand, commitment. A friend once told me “you don’t want anyone’s regrets on your shoulders” when I wasn’t that keen on him going to Asia for an internship, so that’s that still together after 11 years. But now we have the bundle of joy and cannot go anywhere further from the park :))

    1. Madalina

      May 27, 2017 at 12:07 am

      Totally! The thing with regrets is that they always come back. I can’t even imagine how you’d grow to resent your partner in time because you gave up something important for them but you weren’t really ok with it.

      Hey, I bet your park trips are super mega fun too hehe. Looking forward to meet the bundle of joy next time we’re in Dublin!

  2. Tina

    August 12, 2017 at 9:13 am

    Wow nice. Word & Blog. Do you have actually a boyfriend??

    1. Madalina

      September 5, 2017 at 12:34 pm

      hey there, sorry for the delayed answer, your comment somehow made it in spam. Yep, he’s real and all that. Hope to see you around!

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